Tuesday, December 1, 2009

True Contentment

I am so thankful for my relationship with my heavenly Prince. He has carried me through the craziness of life's ups and downs and I can't imagine my life without Him. I always feel so unworthy of His love, grace and mercy, yet I need it so desperately. Sometimes I wonder how he can forgive me over and over again for being plain dumb and ignoring him. So many times I have thought that I could figure things out on my own, that maybe things would work out if I just continue on in a relationship that isn't healthy. But in the depths of my heart I know what is right and who I love more than anything in this world. He always brings me back to him somehow, even if it means tearing my world into pieces.

I have much to be thankful for and I hate that feeling that I still want more. I have my "dream" job and am doing what I love (even if it gets overwhelming at times). I have a roof over my head, a great family, amazing friends and a lot of little things that I am thankful for. This time of transitioning is definitely harder than being in college. I guess when I was in college my focus was of graduating college and getting good grades. The next step was finding a job in my field, which I have, and the next would be marriage & a family, and own a house or apartment.

In the past month I have been so stressed and overwhelmed with work & PD classes that it made me foresee my future. I was doubting and wondering how life would be while working in a high-demanding, never-ENDing job while being a MOM/wife. ahhh! I just can't imagine how working Mom's do it all and keep their sanity! I realized that I am grateful to be starting out now while I have the extra time and openness in my life at the moment to work & take classes. Even though it may be extremely difficult at times, I think it'll be worth it later on down the road.

Contentment is what I'm always striving for, and it is when I am not content that I get myself into trouble. I love this quote that I read in a magazine..."May our desire to have what God has kept from us (marriage, family, $, etc) not keep us from ENJOYING what he has given to us." I constantly have to remind myself of this, because I'm always the one looking back on the past and missing it, when I usually wasn't enjoying it at the time. I am learning to trust the One who knows me best, to take one day at a time and keep my eyes fixed on Him; the author and perfecter of my faith.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Accepting Changes

The past year and a half has been a season of adjustment. Life after college is so different and God has done the unexpected in my life. I had thought I knew where God was going to take me in my life and what He was going to have me do, but those were ultimately my plans. So of course my plans did not align with God's great plans for me. I never thought I'd be teaching while enjoying it and thriving! God has totally provided for my every need over the past year and a half! I am so blessed in many ways and am very thankful for ALL of the new friends and coworkers that he's placed in my life. They're such a blessing to have!

Last month, when I turned 23, I realized that the past year was a "transitioning" year for me. It was a big transition to come home after being away at college for the past 4 years. It was weird living at home again, not having friends around 24/7, and maintaining friendships across the ocean. I guess you can say, that it made me realize who were really my close friends. I love how many different ways of communicating exist, yet for some people, it is a challenge to keep in touch. I think it really depends on how much the friendship means to both sides.

The great blessing has been having new friends in my life and of course continuing to develop the friendships that I made in college. It was so nice having 3 shades come and visit me! We had a blast and I loved having them here in my "world"! So overall, it has been a tough and exciting time of transitioning, but I have learned to accept the changes that have happened and I am looking forward to what else God has in store for me :)

Monday, March 30, 2009

Who I wanna be

I started reading a new book and was reminded that Jesus Christ needs to be the love of my life, the Prince Charming, my groom...this song is who I want to be when others see me...

She's In Love by According to John

What a beautiful smile
A radiant girl
Fell in love first time I saw her
She stays on my mind
I’d give anything
To know everything about her

There’s light in her eyes
And I know it’s all for him
She carries on and on
Like he was her best friend

She’s in love (echo)
It’s not hard to see
But I would like to believe it was with me
Someone got a hold of her heart
And he won’t let go
And I know
She’s in love

She looks to the sky
When she talks about him
She believes he hung the moon
Said he had to go away
She waits for his return
Says he’s coming for her soon

How can this be fair?
This guy can walk on water
Don’t guess I’ve got a prayer
He’s written love letters - to reach her

She worships the ground he walks on
She just smiles when she says his name
It’s a match made in heaven
I can’t compete with the King of Kings 

Monday, February 9, 2009

A New Year..

Wow! I didn't realize I haven't posted a blog in the New Year! This year is already going by so fast. I was so excited because of my trip to Oregon, which was SO MUCH FUN! I think that it was possibly the best trip I've ever been on, and really did NOT want to leave.

Well, let's go back in time to the beginning of this year. It started off in Cali w/ the Rose Bowl Parade, partying with my family, Disneyland, more family time and lots of good food. And of course, ozoni -- mochi good luck soup!

So the best part about this year so far was going to Oregon and seeing my wonderful amazing friends that I miss with all my heart! I got to hang out with Jodi & go shopping, spend time with my roomie, and of course spend time with Three Shades! The Sisterhood was reunited and it felt oh so good! Good memories for sure that I will cherish! I can't wait til our next reunion! I'm so so blessed with such great, meaningful and deep friendships with these women of the Lord. All of them!