Thursday, April 17, 2008

a bittersweet time

9 days until graduation!!!

I'm sooo unbelievably excited to graduate and can't believe this day is finally coming!!! The past 4 years have been full of growth, real friendships, laughter, breakdowns, challenges, pain, frosty's from Wendy's, studying, sleeping, partying, watching movies, flutes, prayer, tears, meaningful conversations, dancing hula, swinging in the rain, three shades, worship, crazy roommates, music, walking dates, star-gazing, hawaii dinners love, hugs and the list goes on....boys...

I don't think their is anything I really regret except for maybe one thing, but through all of these experiences I have learned soo much and grown soo much! So in the end I wouldn't trade any of it for anything else. Even the heartbreaks and breakdowns...I don't regret them. Because now I look back and see how God brought me through it all and I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't go through those experiences.

So this is a bittersweet time because it's the close of my college career. I'll be getting my degree and everything that comes with the title. But I'm leaving behind so many memories and so many amazing friends that I dearly love with all my heart (not as much as Jesus). I never knew I could find such amazing people, and this community of fellowship. I have been blessed more than I ever expected through my friends, professors and others.

It's so hard to say goodbye, but I know that it is time to say this community. I've been molded and am still being molded by this community of believers and I feel prepared for the world that lies before me. God has given me desires to serve, whether it be in the US or in another country. I'm excited to see what he has in store for me and to be able to love on others as I have been loved here.

Yet, it's so hard to say goodbye to the ones who have loved me and I them. I'm grateful for the times we've had together and I wish we never have to part. But I also know that someday we will be together again and I can't wait for that day! :)

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

change of my plans?

So I found out that I'm an alternate for the JET program. At first I was disappointed, and I guess I still am. I got my hopes up about it and everyone was excited for me. I was pretty confident about it, but still that unknown-ness of it all was still up in the air. And the question still lingered as to whether or not it's a part of God's plan or my plan? I still don't know the answer to that and a friend reminded me something important today....that it's the beauty of life...the not knowing part of what God's will is.

After getting the email about it, it really sucked. I questioned why my hopes for it were so high and I wondered how this greatly affects my future job decision making/search. I guess I did have my doubts about the JET and I was apprehensive about even applying and trying for it. But then I thought, why not? I won't have any real job commitments yet, it'd be a great opportunity to teach in another country, travel and explore. But maybe God has other plans for me that are far greater...possibly. I'm just going to see what God has in store for me.

The exciting news is that I have a job teaching summer school! It is seriously a blessing and I'm super excited and grateful for my first teaching opportunity as the TEACHER, not student teacher! woohoo!

So through all of this up and down, exciting and somewhat depressing news, I am content. I know that God has his hand in all of this and is guiding me. I'm just trusting....'moment by moment, day after day'...