Trusting

I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. (Jeremiah 29:11, The Message)

So in my interview for the JET I was asked a question, or given a situation. So I get to Japan, the people I'm working with don't speak very much English, I have very little food..what do I do? Well, my answer was basically to ask my friends who have been through the program for advice. Anything would probably be helpful. Their were times in my interview that I wanted to express my faith -- that I would pray and seek God's guidance, and allow Him to carry me through this experience. They seemed to really press into the fact that it's going to be challenging, that it's going to be stressful and their probably will be days when all I want to do is quit.

I know that it will be a challenging experience, but in some ways I feel as though God has been preparing me to go. College has been challenging in many ways, especially balancing my life and school, being away from home and the familiar. I have learned and grown in so many ways. I know that I haven't stopped growing and learning either. I have learned a lot about myself--my failings, flaws and imperfections. I've learned good things about myself too, but I think the negatives have helped me more to grow.

In some ways I'm so ready to be done with school and graduate!! I can't wait! On the other hand, I'm going to miss my friends...especially three shades! I love the social aspect and life of school, except when it gets complicated and stressful. I know that I have learned a lot through my friends too. :)

Jesus, Lord of Heaven

Jesus, Lord of Heaven,
I did not deserve
the grace that You have given
and the promise of Your word.

Lord, I stand in wonder
of the sacrifice You made
with mercy beyond measure.
My debt You freely paid.

Your love is deeper than the cross,
higher than the heavens,
reaches beyon the stars in the sky.

Jesus, Your love has no bounds

I can't say how much I love this song! It's currently my life song, because it keeps bringing me back to my first love, my true love. He's done so much for me, forgiven me, reclaimed my heart and soul. He's worthy of my praise, my life, my thoughts! His love is seriously all I need!

This week has been stressful, sleep-depriving, confusing, but through this week I came to the realization that Jesus reigns above all of that. He surpasses my confusions and frustrations. May my eyes be fixed on Him and Him alone. May I live in the moment, not worrying about what life holds after graduation. It's frustrating because I feel like by doing that, I'm somewhat in denial that my life is going to change after graduation.

I've grown so so so much in the past 4 years. I never thought I'd really be going to Japan. It was always just a thought and plans that Jenny & I talked about doing. I could be in Japan in less than 6 months! ahh! So exciting & scary at the same time! I definitely feel the holy spirit moving in me about going...and I'm scared to death to do it. But I know that if God's brought me this far, He's definitely gonna be with me there!

Japan!

So this week has been an eventful and super exciting one!! I found out that my application to teach English in Japan through the JET program was accepted for the interview process. Then I found out that my interview is in 2 weeks, on February 14th!! That's already a busy day for me, so it's going to be even busier! My parents will be up for my concert that night. I think it's actually perfect timing that they'll be here when I have my interviews. So after my interview, I'll have to wait another 2 months to find out for sure whether I'm accepted to go. I think that I have a pretty good chance of getting in, considering I'll have a degree in Education (plus, I've had a lot of experiences teaching now!)

I'm really excited, but somewhat sad at the same time. I've developed so many friendships throughout my 4 years at Fox. I can't believe that it's my 4th year already! Time flies by soo fast! I'm both ready to be done with school but then sad to leave my friends! I feel like college graduation is a big step in life, compared to high school. Because basically I get to face the "real world" once I'm out of here. I feel prepared and confident in myself for teaching and getting a job, but I don't really want to grow up just yet. I felt so old when I was student teaching since I was around "grown-ups" all day, well and 7 year olds. It's just a different environment than being on a college campus with fun, craziness and friends!

I'm excited to see where God leads me in the next few years. Everyone's excited for me too and that makes me happy. I know that I have a ton of support. I'm a little afraid of being "homesick" while I'm in Japan. I definitely know that if I go it'll be a challenge, but I think that it'll be amazing too!

So even though I'm really excited and sad, I'm also a little bit confused. It's hard to start friendships/relationships, when I don't know if I'll see them again after graduation....kinda frustrating. But I guess I just have to trust that God knows what He's doing and that His timing is perfect....eh?