randomness

Sometimes I wonder when in the world time is going....it's always when I'm enjoying life that it goes by so fast, yet when i'm not all that thrilled about life it drags.

I seriously do have several things to do before school starts again. Included in that list is the Praxis that i take in a week! I'm not ready nor am i prepared! And, I really have to pass because I don't want to pay for it again! I think I'll be fine with the math, but i need to practice the reading & writing sections.

I'm soo excited for going back to school! Well, mostly for student teaching! I'm stoked to be able to experience the prep, first day school and first several months of school. I have an amazing cooperating teacher and I'm sure the 2nd graders will be precious!

In continuation of this random blog...God is continuing to teach me so much despite the different setbacks throughout this summer. But I'm so thankful that I am alive & well (mostly). The eye surgery went well, family time has been great and I couldn't have asked for better friends. One prayer request though is for my right toe...so I dropped a can of corn on it last week at camp. Ever since then it's just gotten worse (well, it looks awful) but thankfully it's not infected (and pray that it continues to remain Uninfected!). Its been quite the ride with this toe, including a visit to the ER at 5am, and going to the doctor again several days later. So yes, despite all the pain that I've gone through, the Lord's been with me every step of the way. :)

"How can I keep from singing your praise
How can I ever say enough, how amazing is your love
How can i keep from shouting your name
I know I am LOVED by the King and it makes my heart wanna sing!"

Beautiful in the eyes of Jesus

What does it mean to be beautiful? I've been thinking about this question since I've been reading Captivating again. As I was talking with a friend about it, it was hard for me to think of one person that I think is beautiful. I hated to admit it but my idea of being beautiful was the physical, outward appearance of beauty. I've never thought of beauty being inward because our culture puts so much value on our outward beauty.

I'm learning to see beauty through the eyes of God. He's been teaching me that beauty comes from inside and radiates from the inside out. That makes me think of that song "From the inside out." Just as my love for Jesus comes 'from the inside out' so does my beauty; apparently. It's still somewhat hard for me to feel that I am beautiful.

The great thing though: Jesus thinks I'm beautiful. And to me, that's really the only thing that matters.

"You are beautiful in the eyes of the one who made you"

Vulnerable but blessed

So I've been re-reading "Captivating" for the past week and God has been revealing much and speaking many words to me. So I just read how as women, I have feelings of vulnerability. I looked up the definition of this word and got this: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded.

It seems like a lot of women are really vulnerable...and I think it's because we are already wounded. This is crazy to think that so many women feel this way and it already holds us back or causes us to control or dominate others. I've been learning a lot about the Garden of Eden and how all of Eve's actions have affected the role of women. The greatest thing I've learned is that I exemplify the qualities of God by being a women AND that God feels everything that I feel. Like when I'm feeling lonely or feeling like no one cares about me, that God feels that way about me. He wants and desires me to run to Him always! I don't know if this makes perfect sense to others, it's kind of hard to explain.

And then there's always God's beautiful creation reminding me of His love for me. I seriously want to get married..well, at least have my reception at the Turtle Bay Resort! I got to stay there last night with my family. It's one of the most beautiful, relaxing places ever! Besides getting sunburn today, it was so nice! So expensive, but amazing!! It was fun to play "tourist" on my own island. =)

"God gives us opportunities to do the things we ask.." from Evan Almighty. I've never really thought about that before. But I can see that being true..like when we ask him to help us be patient, He does so by providing a situation in which we are able to be patient. Sometimes I wonder if God really does laugh at us. I mean, some of the things I do, say or think are probably really ridiculous and funny to Him. I'm sure He gets a kick out of his children. But I also know that He also hurts with us. I can't express how amazing our God really is.

I'm so glad for this summer, despite the setbacks & laziness and feelings of uselessness and boredom, I know that God is working in me & teaching me many things.

"Sing to the Lord a new song, for he has done marvelous things..." Psalm 98:1